is your mom at the bar?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
