Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize