why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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