how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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