if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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