Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
