i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
