walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
