smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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