I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
