My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
