Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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