I think my fart just growled at me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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