Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There's even glitter on my cock...
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