hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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