is your mom at the bar?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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