She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
