and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he was CRYING into my vagina
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize