I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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