He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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