OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
