I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
