he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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