I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
