I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
