I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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