i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
