there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's even glitter on my cock...
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