Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
