Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
two words: eviction party
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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