I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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