dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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