sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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