Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He kissed a someone with a penis
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
