with your own penis?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
