Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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