whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
