gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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