They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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