better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
