I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So much rum. So many feels.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
