Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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