I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need a beard to bite.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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