I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
