i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize