This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
