so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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