The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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