ugly people sure do ruin things
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize