life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
