Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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