I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
