I just made out with a guy for $7.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
