can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
