no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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