if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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