in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
