he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize