As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
