i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
