I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
