What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
