I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
