All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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