And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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